NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I
was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
-----
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held
it up and said with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the toilet a few days ago.
-----
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his parents."
-----
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out
of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so
she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother.. Then
she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to
you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
-----
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"
-----
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl
about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,
she asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and
continued writing the report. "My mother said if I
ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,"
she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would
you please tie my shoe?"
-----
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van
in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,
my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little
boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
-----
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old
age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered,"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
-----
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And
why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you
a headache the
next morning."
-----
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son
was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the
Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .....and into the hole
he gooooes."
-----
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"
-----
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found", the boy called out." What have you got there,
dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he
answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!
--
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The Teeth are so important in old age --- Mcdonald's story
A McDonald's love story...
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter
evening.
They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating
there that night.
Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the
admirers were thinking:
"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for
60 years or more!"
The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no
hesitation and then paid for their meal.
The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of
the tray.
There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.
The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in
half.
He placed one half in front of his wife.
Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles
and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began
to eat his few bites.
Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. -
"They were used to sharing everything."
Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.
She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of
the drink.
A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.
The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.
As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a
napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.
After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady,
"Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.
What is it that you are waiting for?"
She answered,
"THE TEETH"
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter
evening.
They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating
there that night.
Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the
admirers were thinking:
"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for
60 years or more!"
The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no
hesitation and then paid for their meal.
The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of
the tray.
There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.
The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in
half.
He placed one half in front of his wife.
Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles
and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began
to eat his few bites.
Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. -
"They were used to sharing everything."
Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.
She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of
the drink.
A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.
The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.
As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a
napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.
After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady,
"Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.
What is it that you are waiting for?"
She answered,
"THE TEETH"
Mcdonald's in florida---job application
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to
McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and
funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with
a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the
greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and
funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with
a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the
greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Side effects of drinking and alcohol ... and remedies!!!
1. *Symptom: Cold and humid feet. *
> > Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
> > >
> > > 2. *Symptom*: The wall facing you is full of lights. *
> > > Cause*: You're lying on the floor.*
> > > Cure:* Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
> > >
> > > 3. *Symptom*: The floor looks blurry. *
> > > Cause*: You're looking through an empty glass. *
> > > Cure:* Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
> > >
> > > 4. *Symptom*: The floor is moving.*
> > > Cause*: You're being dragged away. *
> > > Cure:* At least ask where they're taking you.
> > >
> > > 5. *Symptom*: You hear echoes every time someone speaks. *
> > > Cause*: You have your glass on your ear. *
> > > Cure:* Stop making a fool of yourself!
> > >
> > > 6. *Symptom*: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in
white and the music is very repetitive. *
> > > Cause*: You're in an ambulance. *
> > > Cure:* Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
> > >
> > > 7. *Symptom*: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny. *
> > > Cause*: You're in the wrong house.*
> > > Cure:* Ask if they can point you to your house.
> > >
> > > Cheers!!!!!!!!
> > Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward
> > >
> > > 2. *Symptom*: The wall facing you is full of lights. *
> > > Cause*: You're lying on the floor.*
> > > Cure:* Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
> > >
> > > 3. *Symptom*: The floor looks blurry. *
> > > Cause*: You're looking through an empty glass. *
> > > Cure:* Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
> > >
> > > 4. *Symptom*: The floor is moving.*
> > > Cause*: You're being dragged away. *
> > > Cure:* At least ask where they're taking you.
> > >
> > > 5. *Symptom*: You hear echoes every time someone speaks. *
> > > Cause*: You have your glass on your ear. *
> > > Cure:* Stop making a fool of yourself!
> > >
> > > 6. *Symptom*: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in
white and the music is very repetitive. *
> > > Cause*: You're in an ambulance. *
> > > Cure:* Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
> > >
> > > 7. *Symptom*: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny. *
> > > Cause*: You're in the wrong house.*
> > > Cure:* Ask if they can point you to your house.
> > >
> > > Cheers!!!!!!!!
word power rearranged
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Thursday, August 17, 2006
the microwave, solitaire and email id's-----You know you're living in 2006
1 You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3 You have a list of 16 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4 You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5 Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6 When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7 When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial " 0 " to get an outside line.
8 You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10 You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news .
11 Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12 Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards. AND..............
13 You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14 As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
15 You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16 You are too busy to notice there was no #9
17 You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9
18 AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends .you know you want to.
2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3 You have a list of 16 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4 You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5 Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6 When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7 When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial " 0 " to get an outside line.
8 You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10 You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news .
11 Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12 Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards. AND..............
13 You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14 As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
15 You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16 You are too busy to notice there was no #9
17 You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9
18 AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends .you know you want to.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
An (un) impressive Bollywood movie-- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
WELL, it was a Saturday morning wasted i would say since the movie had a lot of reviews and we had booked the ticket on the internet for the funrepublic cinemas. there was a lot of effort put in since the booking of tickets was planned long back and getting up early morning on a holiday was itself a task. well with all the efforts we did manage to reach the movie hall and entered the comfortable confines of the cinema.
what unfolded in front of us was a nice comedian in the form of Amitabh Bachchan (albiet a lil sex crazy man) who later tells his real story of his love for his wife. but shah rukh khan was at his worst in the movie. Rani Mukherji did a good job at looking good, wearing those expensive clothes through out and crying the whole time. (must have cost Karan Johar a whole lot to get those glycerine bottles). Priety Zinta's role is a bit confused though. Accolades must be given to Abhishek Bachchan for being a faithful husband and carrying his part very well. good acting on his part though he gets overshadowed slightly by so many actors around. I think its time that Shah Rukh starts doing lesser movies and selects his roles with more care.
the first half of the movie is still bearable with the comedy but the second half and the ending is pathetic. there is no sense of direction and story. i cant imagine couples living apart for few years like this and then getting back just to tell their partners with whom they have annuled the marriage that they are still in love with them and suddenly with their married lovers too. Ohh such a mis- direction . at least turn the story in such a way that its palatable to the generation of today either Indian or if Karan thinks, that indians are not upto the maturity level today, then for the NRI's who would have seen more of this kind of happenings but with lesser time span as is in the movie. if you want to earn money in India , boy, at least you should have given a better ending at least.
the music is reasonably tolerable but nothing like his previous successes. overall on a scale of one to five , i would easily rate it at about one point five only.
thats pretty low for you karan . so try to do a better job next time
what unfolded in front of us was a nice comedian in the form of Amitabh Bachchan (albiet a lil sex crazy man) who later tells his real story of his love for his wife. but shah rukh khan was at his worst in the movie. Rani Mukherji did a good job at looking good, wearing those expensive clothes through out and crying the whole time. (must have cost Karan Johar a whole lot to get those glycerine bottles). Priety Zinta's role is a bit confused though. Accolades must be given to Abhishek Bachchan for being a faithful husband and carrying his part very well. good acting on his part though he gets overshadowed slightly by so many actors around. I think its time that Shah Rukh starts doing lesser movies and selects his roles with more care.
the first half of the movie is still bearable with the comedy but the second half and the ending is pathetic. there is no sense of direction and story. i cant imagine couples living apart for few years like this and then getting back just to tell their partners with whom they have annuled the marriage that they are still in love with them and suddenly with their married lovers too. Ohh such a mis- direction . at least turn the story in such a way that its palatable to the generation of today either Indian or if Karan thinks, that indians are not upto the maturity level today, then for the NRI's who would have seen more of this kind of happenings but with lesser time span as is in the movie. if you want to earn money in India , boy, at least you should have given a better ending at least.
the music is reasonably tolerable but nothing like his previous successes. overall on a scale of one to five , i would easily rate it at about one point five only.
thats pretty low for you karan . so try to do a better job next time
Thursday, August 10, 2006
London police 8/10: A most condemnable terrorist threat
London police 8/10: A most condemnable terrorist threat
British police said on Thursday that they thwarted a terrorist plot, possibly just days away, to blow up U.S.-bound jetliners over the Atlantic and kill thousands. Chilling accounts leaked by investigators described a plan on the scale of 9/11 that would use liquid explosives concealed as sports drink bottles and common electronic devices to bring down as many as 10 planes in a nearly simultaneous strike.
British authorities have already arrested 24 people based partly on intelligence from Pakistan, where authorities detained up to three others several days earlier.
The suspects, whose ages ranged from 17 to the mid-30s, were looking to sneak at least some chemicals on the planes in sports drink bottles. Teams of at least two or three men were assigned to each flight, the schedules for which they had researched on the Internet,
Terror threat levels were raised to some of their highest levels and hundreds of flights were canceled worldwide. Passengers stood in line for hours and airport trash bins bulged with everything from mouthwash and shaving cream to maple syrup and fine wine.
Experts say the nature of the plot could herald a new age of terrorism where attackers have access to explosives that are easy to carry and conceal. Emergency security measures quickly implemented on Thursday provided a stark vision of the possible future of air travel.
Mothers tasted baby food in front of airport security guards to prove it contained no liquid explosives. Liquids and gels were banned from flights. Travelers repacked their luggage in airports, stowing all but the most necessary items in the hold.
Although plots to blow up airliners using liquid explosives are not new — such an attempt was foiled more than a decade ago — the U.S. government has been slow to upgrade its security equipment at airport checkpoints to detect explosives on passengers.
Targeted were United, American and Continental Airlines flights from Britain to major U.S. destinations, which counterterrorism officials said probably included New York, Los Angeles and Washington
In terms of scale, it was probably designed to be ... a new Sept. 11," said Jean-Charles Brisard, a French private investigator who works with lawyers of many Sept. 11 victims. "It involved the same tools, the same transportation tools and devices."
The close call also shifted attention once more to Britain's Islamic community just over a year after the London transit attacks. Three Britons of Pakistani descent and a Jamaican convert to Islam carried out those deadly bombings with a peroxide-based explosive that trained operatives can make using ordinary ingredients such as hair bleach.
Raids were carried out at homes in London, the nearby town of High Wycombe and in Birmingham, in central England. Searches continued throughout the day, and police cordoned off streets in several locations. Police also combed a wooded area in High Wycombe.
The British government raised its threat assessment to its highest level — critical — which warns that a terrorist attack could be imminent. The U.S. government, following suit, raised its threat assessment to red alert, also its highest level, for commercial flights from Britain to the United States.
British police said on Thursday that they thwarted a terrorist plot, possibly just days away, to blow up U.S.-bound jetliners over the Atlantic and kill thousands. Chilling accounts leaked by investigators described a plan on the scale of 9/11 that would use liquid explosives concealed as sports drink bottles and common electronic devices to bring down as many as 10 planes in a nearly simultaneous strike.
British authorities have already arrested 24 people based partly on intelligence from Pakistan, where authorities detained up to three others several days earlier.
The suspects, whose ages ranged from 17 to the mid-30s, were looking to sneak at least some chemicals on the planes in sports drink bottles. Teams of at least two or three men were assigned to each flight, the schedules for which they had researched on the Internet,
Terror threat levels were raised to some of their highest levels and hundreds of flights were canceled worldwide. Passengers stood in line for hours and airport trash bins bulged with everything from mouthwash and shaving cream to maple syrup and fine wine.
Experts say the nature of the plot could herald a new age of terrorism where attackers have access to explosives that are easy to carry and conceal. Emergency security measures quickly implemented on Thursday provided a stark vision of the possible future of air travel.
Mothers tasted baby food in front of airport security guards to prove it contained no liquid explosives. Liquids and gels were banned from flights. Travelers repacked their luggage in airports, stowing all but the most necessary items in the hold.
Although plots to blow up airliners using liquid explosives are not new — such an attempt was foiled more than a decade ago — the U.S. government has been slow to upgrade its security equipment at airport checkpoints to detect explosives on passengers.
Targeted were United, American and Continental Airlines flights from Britain to major U.S. destinations, which counterterrorism officials said probably included New York, Los Angeles and Washington
In terms of scale, it was probably designed to be ... a new Sept. 11," said Jean-Charles Brisard, a French private investigator who works with lawyers of many Sept. 11 victims. "It involved the same tools, the same transportation tools and devices."
The close call also shifted attention once more to Britain's Islamic community just over a year after the London transit attacks. Three Britons of Pakistani descent and a Jamaican convert to Islam carried out those deadly bombings with a peroxide-based explosive that trained operatives can make using ordinary ingredients such as hair bleach.
Raids were carried out at homes in London, the nearby town of High Wycombe and in Birmingham, in central England. Searches continued throughout the day, and police cordoned off streets in several locations. Police also combed a wooded area in High Wycombe.
The British government raised its threat assessment to its highest level — critical — which warns that a terrorist attack could be imminent. The U.S. government, following suit, raised its threat assessment to red alert, also its highest level, for commercial flights from Britain to the United States.
interesting definitions of cigarettes, marriage, love affairs, dictionary , atom bomb and ecstasy
CLASSIC DEFINITIONS
>
>
>
> Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
> fool at the other.
>
> 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
> are more popular than a five day test.
>
> 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
> degree and a woman gains her master
>
> 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
>
> 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
> lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
> minds of either".
>
> 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
>
> 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
> everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
>
> 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
> defeated by feminine water-power ...
>
> 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
>
> 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
> everybody disagrees later on.
>
> 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
> you have never felt before.
>
> 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
>
> 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
>
> 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
>
> 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
>
> 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
> actually do.
>
> 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
> decide that nothing can be done together.
>
> 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
>
> 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
>
> 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be
> spoken of when dead.
>
> 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
> you actually look forward to the trip.
>
> 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
> falls into a river.
>
> 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
> midway "See I am not injured yet."
>
> 24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
> Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
>
> 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
>
> 26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
>
> 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
>
> 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
>
> 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
> Confidence after.
>
> 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
> his bills.
>
> 31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...
>
>
>
>
> Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
> fool at the other.
>
> 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
> are more popular than a five day test.
>
> 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
> degree and a woman gains her master
>
> 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
>
> 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
> lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
> minds of either".
>
> 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
>
> 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
> everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
>
> 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
> defeated by feminine water-power ...
>
> 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
>
> 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
> everybody disagrees later on.
>
> 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
> you have never felt before.
>
> 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
>
> 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
>
> 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
>
> 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
>
> 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
> actually do.
>
> 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
> decide that nothing can be done together.
>
> 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
>
> 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
>
> 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be
> spoken of when dead.
>
> 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
> you actually look forward to the trip.
>
> 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
> falls into a river.
>
> 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
> midway "See I am not injured yet."
>
> 24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
> Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
>
> 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
>
> 26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
>
> 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
>
> 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
>
> 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
> Confidence after.
>
> 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
> his bills.
>
> 31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...
>
Thursday, August 03, 2006
SPARKLE OF A DIAMOND,, the gem stone par excellence
DIAMONDS HAVE BEEN PRIZED ABOVE ALL OTHER GEM STONES FOR THEIR FIERY BRILLIANCE.
Technically, a diamond,s sparkle from its reflection and refraction of light.
The proper care will assure the lasting qualities of your jewellery. We are pleased to offer the following guidelines and care of your fine jewellery.
1. Although a diamond is durable, a hard blow can chip it.Never wear it when you are doing rough work.
2. Do not let your encounter chlorine bleachwhen you are doing household chores. It can damage and discolour the mounting.
3. Do not let your diamond encounter chlorine bleach when you are doing household work. It can damage and discolour the mounting.
4. Do see your jeweler at least once and have him check your ring and other precious pieces for loose prongs and wear of mounting. He’ll usually give them a professional shine-up too.
5. Keep your precious pieces in a fabric lined jewel case, or a box with compartments or dividers.
6. Don’t jumble your jeweler pieces in a drawer or a jeweler case, because diamond can scratch other jeweler pieces and can even scratch each other.
AS FOR CARE—
Remove jeweler while applying makeup and face powder.
All types of make up , powder and perfumes to be applied before wearing your jeweler.
Grease can be removed by dipping the jewelleryinto plain rubbing alcohol.
-------------- ---------------
Technically, a diamond,s sparkle from its reflection and refraction of light.
The proper care will assure the lasting qualities of your jewellery. We are pleased to offer the following guidelines and care of your fine jewellery.
1. Although a diamond is durable, a hard blow can chip it.Never wear it when you are doing rough work.
2. Do not let your encounter chlorine bleachwhen you are doing household chores. It can damage and discolour the mounting.
3. Do not let your diamond encounter chlorine bleach when you are doing household work. It can damage and discolour the mounting.
4. Do see your jeweler at least once and have him check your ring and other precious pieces for loose prongs and wear of mounting. He’ll usually give them a professional shine-up too.
5. Keep your precious pieces in a fabric lined jewel case, or a box with compartments or dividers.
6. Don’t jumble your jeweler pieces in a drawer or a jeweler case, because diamond can scratch other jeweler pieces and can even scratch each other.
AS FOR CARE—
Remove jeweler while applying makeup and face powder.
All types of make up , powder and perfumes to be applied before wearing your jeweler.
Grease can be removed by dipping the jewelleryinto plain rubbing alcohol.
-------------- ---------------
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
TRAVEL TIPS WHILE IN INDIA
Clothing
Travel as light as possible. Clothing and laundry are both quite inexpensive.
Its better for women to avoid tank tops or short skirts / shorts. The best outfit, especially during the hot summers, is a T-shirt worn with loose cotton trousers. You can purchase them anywhere in India, at very reasonable rates, at any of the shops. Adventurous ladies can try wearing the Indian 'salwar-kameez'. It is comfortable and free sized.
Social Interaction
If you give the impression of being from a different country, chances are that you might be stared at, especially in the smaller towns. Don't be offended - they mean no harm, it is just curiosity.
Toilets
In India, public toilet facilities are few and far between. Take every opportunity you can to use a clean toilet in places such as hotels and restaurants. Make this a habit wherever you go.
Beggars
Do not let them hassle you, and do not encourage them by giving them money.
Food And Drink
Drink only bottled water. Many popular brands are available. In restaurants insist that they bring a sealed bottle to your table
Beef is not served in many parts of India. Pork is also not easily available.
Eat non-vegetarian food only in good restaurants. The meat in cheaper and smaller places can be of dubious quality.
Good quality vegetarian food is easily available.
Curd or yoghurt is served with most meals. It is a natural aid to digestion and helps temper the spicy food.
Shopping
Try to shop only in government handicraft shops. There the prices are fixed and the quality is certified. If that is not an option, check the prices at a few shops before making a choice. Bargaining is standard in most places and is enjoyed by all.
Get used to the fact that you will probably be charged more than the locals. If possible, take a local along when you go shopping.
Tipping
In hotels and restaurants, tips are not normally included in the bill.
Some hotels include service charges on their bills. In such cases tipping is not necessary.
The standard tip is 10%.
In hotels, porters and room service attendants are normally tipped at the end of the stay, though an early tip is likely to get you better service.
Tipping of taxi drivers is not customary.
Sightseeing
Dress codes for religious places can include covering your head, being barefoot etc. Ask, so that you don't unwittingly give offence.
Some temples do not permit any leather articles at all on their premises.
Certain temples are not open to Non-Hindus. Please check with the local tourist information office.
Most museums in India are closed on Mondays and Site Museums, those near archaeological monuments, on Fridays.
The dry summer heat can drain you completely. Drink lots of water and fluids.
The sun is strong. Remember to use sunscreen on exposed parts of the body. Wear sunglasses to screen out harmful rays.
Photography is not always permissible, and at many places it is permitted only at a fee. There is usually a higher fee for using a video camera.
Smoking is not allowed at public places. All properties of the Indian Railways including trains and railway stations are strictly non smoking zones with stiff penalties for violations.
English is spoken at almost all tourist centers, but you can also request Government-trained and approved guides who also speak German, French, Spanish, Japanese, Italian or Russian.
Health Precautions
Always drink bottled water.
For the first few days it might be advisable to clean your teeth in bottled water.
Eat fruit you can peel.
Always wash fruit well before eating it.
Wash your hands before and after eating.
Always keep a tube of mosquito repellent with you.
Always carry a kit of the basic emergency medicines you might need for diarrhoea, fever, etc. Also, band aids and an antiseptic ointment.
If you do catch a bug, do not panic. It will go away in a few days - but try the following tips to keep it down:
Drink lassi - a yoghurt drink. It will help tone down the bacteria.
Eat plain rice, or try a simple khichdi - an easily digestible mixture of rice and lentils.
Drink plenty of coconut water. It's cooling, and naturally sterilized!
Drink plenty of fluids and take some electrolyte salts if the bug persists.
Time
Everything in India takes time - longer than in most places. So always give yourself extra time for whatever you may have to do - even it is just a visit to the Post Office or changing money.
Indians joke about the concept of "Indian Stretchable Time" (IST). Certainly, if you're a super-punctual sort, India can be frustrating. Make allowances for this.
Others
Keep extra photocopies of the relevant pages of your passport. This will be required for Indian permits. Also, keep extra photographs of yourselves. These will be required for permits, filling out forms,etc.
Taxi and auto-rickshaw fares keep changing, and therefore do not always conform to readings on meters. Insist on seeing the latest rate card (available with the driver) and pay accordingly.
Insist on the taxi/auto meter being flagged down in your presence. As much as possible, especially from the airport or railroad station insist on using the pre paid services which are available at most important places.
In cities you can change most major foreign currencies and brands of travellers' cheques - but you'll widen your options and save yourself hassles if you stick to US dollars or pounds sterling, and either Thomas Cook or American Express travellers cheques.
Most big cities have ATMs which accept both Visa and Mastercard as well as American Express. The ATM network is ever expanding and in some states, you can find them even in some smaller towns.
Travel as light as possible. Clothing and laundry are both quite inexpensive.
Its better for women to avoid tank tops or short skirts / shorts. The best outfit, especially during the hot summers, is a T-shirt worn with loose cotton trousers. You can purchase them anywhere in India, at very reasonable rates, at any of the shops. Adventurous ladies can try wearing the Indian 'salwar-kameez'. It is comfortable and free sized.
Social Interaction
If you give the impression of being from a different country, chances are that you might be stared at, especially in the smaller towns. Don't be offended - they mean no harm, it is just curiosity.
Toilets
In India, public toilet facilities are few and far between. Take every opportunity you can to use a clean toilet in places such as hotels and restaurants. Make this a habit wherever you go.
Beggars
Do not let them hassle you, and do not encourage them by giving them money.
Food And Drink
Drink only bottled water. Many popular brands are available. In restaurants insist that they bring a sealed bottle to your table
Beef is not served in many parts of India. Pork is also not easily available.
Eat non-vegetarian food only in good restaurants. The meat in cheaper and smaller places can be of dubious quality.
Good quality vegetarian food is easily available.
Curd or yoghurt is served with most meals. It is a natural aid to digestion and helps temper the spicy food.
Shopping
Try to shop only in government handicraft shops. There the prices are fixed and the quality is certified. If that is not an option, check the prices at a few shops before making a choice. Bargaining is standard in most places and is enjoyed by all.
Get used to the fact that you will probably be charged more than the locals. If possible, take a local along when you go shopping.
Tipping
In hotels and restaurants, tips are not normally included in the bill.
Some hotels include service charges on their bills. In such cases tipping is not necessary.
The standard tip is 10%.
In hotels, porters and room service attendants are normally tipped at the end of the stay, though an early tip is likely to get you better service.
Tipping of taxi drivers is not customary.
Sightseeing
Dress codes for religious places can include covering your head, being barefoot etc. Ask, so that you don't unwittingly give offence.
Some temples do not permit any leather articles at all on their premises.
Certain temples are not open to Non-Hindus. Please check with the local tourist information office.
Most museums in India are closed on Mondays and Site Museums, those near archaeological monuments, on Fridays.
The dry summer heat can drain you completely. Drink lots of water and fluids.
The sun is strong. Remember to use sunscreen on exposed parts of the body. Wear sunglasses to screen out harmful rays.
Photography is not always permissible, and at many places it is permitted only at a fee. There is usually a higher fee for using a video camera.
Smoking is not allowed at public places. All properties of the Indian Railways including trains and railway stations are strictly non smoking zones with stiff penalties for violations.
English is spoken at almost all tourist centers, but you can also request Government-trained and approved guides who also speak German, French, Spanish, Japanese, Italian or Russian.
Health Precautions
Always drink bottled water.
For the first few days it might be advisable to clean your teeth in bottled water.
Eat fruit you can peel.
Always wash fruit well before eating it.
Wash your hands before and after eating.
Always keep a tube of mosquito repellent with you.
Always carry a kit of the basic emergency medicines you might need for diarrhoea, fever, etc. Also, band aids and an antiseptic ointment.
If you do catch a bug, do not panic. It will go away in a few days - but try the following tips to keep it down:
Drink lassi - a yoghurt drink. It will help tone down the bacteria.
Eat plain rice, or try a simple khichdi - an easily digestible mixture of rice and lentils.
Drink plenty of coconut water. It's cooling, and naturally sterilized!
Drink plenty of fluids and take some electrolyte salts if the bug persists.
Time
Everything in India takes time - longer than in most places. So always give yourself extra time for whatever you may have to do - even it is just a visit to the Post Office or changing money.
Indians joke about the concept of "Indian Stretchable Time" (IST). Certainly, if you're a super-punctual sort, India can be frustrating. Make allowances for this.
Others
Keep extra photocopies of the relevant pages of your passport. This will be required for Indian permits. Also, keep extra photographs of yourselves. These will be required for permits, filling out forms,etc.
Taxi and auto-rickshaw fares keep changing, and therefore do not always conform to readings on meters. Insist on seeing the latest rate card (available with the driver) and pay accordingly.
Insist on the taxi/auto meter being flagged down in your presence. As much as possible, especially from the airport or railroad station insist on using the pre paid services which are available at most important places.
In cities you can change most major foreign currencies and brands of travellers' cheques - but you'll widen your options and save yourself hassles if you stick to US dollars or pounds sterling, and either Thomas Cook or American Express travellers cheques.
Most big cities have ATMs which accept both Visa and Mastercard as well as American Express. The ATM network is ever expanding and in some states, you can find them even in some smaller towns.
the magnificent taj mahal
A flawless architectural creation: The Taj Mahal
For centuries, the Taj Mahal has inspired poets, painters and musicians to try and capture its elusive magic in word, colour and son. Since the 17th century, travellers have crossed continents to come and see this ultimate memorial to love, and few have been unmoved by its incomparable beauty.
Taj Mahal stands in the city of Agra, in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, on the banks of the Yamuna river. It was built in the memory of the beautiful Arjumand Bano Begum, who won the heart of a Mughal prince. She was married at 21 to Emperor Jahangir's third son Prince Khurram and stayed loyally by his side through good times and bad: in the luxurious royal palaces of Agra as well as the transient tents of war camps.
A memorial to his beloved
In AD 1628, Khurram became king after a bloody battle of succession; he took the name Shahjahan or King of the World and showered his beloved begum with the highest titles. She became Mumtaz Mahal, the Exalted of the Palace and Mumtaz-ul-Zamani, the Exalted of the Age. But Mumtaz Mahal was not destined to be queen for long.
In 1631, Shahjahan went on an expedition to the South and, as always, Mumtaz Mahal accompanied him. But she died in childbirth at Burhanpur. She had borne Shahjahan fourteen children, of whom four sons and three daughters survived. When Mumtaz Mahal died, she was just 39 years old. Shahjahan was inconsolable and contemporary chronicles tell of the royal court mourning for two years. There was no music, no feasting, and no celebration of any kind.
Shahjahan, who was a passionate builder, now decided to erect a memorial marble that the world would never forget. The site selected for the tomb was a garden by the Yamuna river, unshadowed by any other structure. The garden had been laid by Raja Man Singh of Amber and now belonged to his grandson, Raja Jai Singh. By a royal firman, Shahjahan gave Jai Singh four havelis in exchange for the garden. The site was also chosen because it was located on a bend in the river, and so could be seen from Shahjahan's personal palace in Agra Fort, further upstream.
A labour of love
Work on the mausoleum began in 1633 and 20,000 workers laboured for 17 years to build it. The most skilled architects, inlay craftsmen, calligraphers, stone-carvers and masons came from all across India and lands as distant as Persia and Turkey. The master mason was from Baghdad, an expert in building the double dome from Persia, and an inlay specialist from Delhi.
The tomb was completed in AD 1650. But, Shahjahan was deposed by his son Aurangzeb in 1658 and imprisioned in the Agra Fort. He spent his last years in the Mussalman Burj looking downstream at the Taj where his beloved Mumtaz Mahal lay. Sixteen years later he, too, was laid to rest beside her.
The bejewelled Palace
Shahjahan's two biggest passions were architecture and jewellery and both are reflected in the Taj Mahal. He visualised a building in marble and then had it decorated with semi-precious stones inlaid with the delicacy of handcrafted jewellery. Marble in purest white was brought from Makrana in Rajasthan, yellow marble and rockspar from the banks of the Narmada river, lack marble from Charkoh and red sandstone from Sikri. For the intricate pietra dura the finest gems were collected - crystal and jade from China, lapis lazuli and sapphires from Sri Lanka, jasper from Punja, carnelian from Baghdad and turquoise from Tibet.
Yemen sent agates, the corals came from Arabia, the garnets from Bundelkhand, onyx and amethyst from Persia. Mumtaz Mahal's final resting-place was ornamented like a queen's jewel-box.
The Complex
You enter the Taj complex through an arcaded forecourt where some of Shahjahan's other queens lie buried. The forecourt also has the Jilau Kana, a bazaar with cloisters leading to the main entrance of the tomb. The imposing gateway is made of red sandstone highlighted with marble and has octagonal kiosks on top. The gateway is an imposing 30 metres high and a fitting entrance to the Taj Mahal. The soaring arch is inscribed with a beautiful design of inlaid flowers and calligraphy.
As you enter the dark octagonal chamber under the gateway, the light streaming in from the opposite doorway draws you towards it. Here, framed by the arch of the doorway, the Taj Mahal reveals itself to the viewer with dramatic power. It stands at the end of a long walkway, framed by landscaped gardens and an ever-changing sky, its snowy marble glittering in the sunlight.
Taj Mahal stands at one side of a garden laid in the tradition charbagh style, with its square lawns bisected by pathways, water channels and rows of fountains. Halfway down the path there is a square pool, its limpid waters reflecting the marble tomb. Unlike other tombs, Taj Mahal stands at one end of the garden instead the centre. This was done deliberately, to leave its vista uncluttered by any other building.
The Main Building
The tomb stands on a marble plinth six-metres high. The four minarets at each corner beautifully frame the tomb. The plinth stands on a high standstone platform and at the far ends of this base are two identical sandstone structures, a mosque to the west and its jawab, or echo, to the east. This was the mehman khana or guesthouse. Thus, the main building is not just of great size but beautifully proportioned and balanced in design.
The octagonal central hall has four smaller octagonal halls round it and is decorated with magnificent inlay and dado panels done in high relief. The bulbous, perfectly-balanced double dome rises to a height of 45 metres and the four chhattris flanking and balancing the high drum give it added height. Taj Mahal rises 75 metres high and is, in fact, taller than the Qutb Minar.
An ornate marble screen, carved so fine that it almost has the texture of lace surrounds the cenotaphs in the central hall. However, as was the tradition during Mughal times, the actual graves lie in an underground crypt directly below the cenotaphs.
Intricacy in design
What is most amazing about the Taj Mahal is the fine detailing. The coloured inlay is never allowed to overwhelm the design, as carvings done in relief sensitively balance it. The ornate pietra dura and relief carvings are of floral, calligraphic and geometric designs. However, flowers remain the main decorative element as the tomb depicts a paradise garden. The skill of the inlay worker is so fine that it is impossible to find the joints, even when as many as 40 tiny pieces of semi-precious stones have been used in the petals of a single flower. Some of the best calligraphy of Koranic verses can be seen around the entrance arches and on the two headstones.
The colours of the Taj
Taj Mahal changes its moods with the seasons and the different times of the day. At dawn, the marble has a delicate bloom in shell pink, by noon it glitters majestically white, turning to a soft pearly grey at dusk. On full-moon away against the star-spangled sky. Monsoon clouds give it a moody blue tint and it appears and disappears like a mirage in the drifting mists of winter.
It can be solid and earthbound, fragile and ethereal, white, amber, grey and gold. The many faces of Taj Mahal display the seductive power of architecture at its best
For centuries, the Taj Mahal has inspired poets, painters and musicians to try and capture its elusive magic in word, colour and son. Since the 17th century, travellers have crossed continents to come and see this ultimate memorial to love, and few have been unmoved by its incomparable beauty.
Taj Mahal stands in the city of Agra, in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, on the banks of the Yamuna river. It was built in the memory of the beautiful Arjumand Bano Begum, who won the heart of a Mughal prince. She was married at 21 to Emperor Jahangir's third son Prince Khurram and stayed loyally by his side through good times and bad: in the luxurious royal palaces of Agra as well as the transient tents of war camps.
A memorial to his beloved
In AD 1628, Khurram became king after a bloody battle of succession; he took the name Shahjahan or King of the World and showered his beloved begum with the highest titles. She became Mumtaz Mahal, the Exalted of the Palace and Mumtaz-ul-Zamani, the Exalted of the Age. But Mumtaz Mahal was not destined to be queen for long.
In 1631, Shahjahan went on an expedition to the South and, as always, Mumtaz Mahal accompanied him. But she died in childbirth at Burhanpur. She had borne Shahjahan fourteen children, of whom four sons and three daughters survived. When Mumtaz Mahal died, she was just 39 years old. Shahjahan was inconsolable and contemporary chronicles tell of the royal court mourning for two years. There was no music, no feasting, and no celebration of any kind.
Shahjahan, who was a passionate builder, now decided to erect a memorial marble that the world would never forget. The site selected for the tomb was a garden by the Yamuna river, unshadowed by any other structure. The garden had been laid by Raja Man Singh of Amber and now belonged to his grandson, Raja Jai Singh. By a royal firman, Shahjahan gave Jai Singh four havelis in exchange for the garden. The site was also chosen because it was located on a bend in the river, and so could be seen from Shahjahan's personal palace in Agra Fort, further upstream.
A labour of love
Work on the mausoleum began in 1633 and 20,000 workers laboured for 17 years to build it. The most skilled architects, inlay craftsmen, calligraphers, stone-carvers and masons came from all across India and lands as distant as Persia and Turkey. The master mason was from Baghdad, an expert in building the double dome from Persia, and an inlay specialist from Delhi.
The tomb was completed in AD 1650. But, Shahjahan was deposed by his son Aurangzeb in 1658 and imprisioned in the Agra Fort. He spent his last years in the Mussalman Burj looking downstream at the Taj where his beloved Mumtaz Mahal lay. Sixteen years later he, too, was laid to rest beside her.
The bejewelled Palace
Shahjahan's two biggest passions were architecture and jewellery and both are reflected in the Taj Mahal. He visualised a building in marble and then had it decorated with semi-precious stones inlaid with the delicacy of handcrafted jewellery. Marble in purest white was brought from Makrana in Rajasthan, yellow marble and rockspar from the banks of the Narmada river, lack marble from Charkoh and red sandstone from Sikri. For the intricate pietra dura the finest gems were collected - crystal and jade from China, lapis lazuli and sapphires from Sri Lanka, jasper from Punja, carnelian from Baghdad and turquoise from Tibet.
Yemen sent agates, the corals came from Arabia, the garnets from Bundelkhand, onyx and amethyst from Persia. Mumtaz Mahal's final resting-place was ornamented like a queen's jewel-box.
The Complex
You enter the Taj complex through an arcaded forecourt where some of Shahjahan's other queens lie buried. The forecourt also has the Jilau Kana, a bazaar with cloisters leading to the main entrance of the tomb. The imposing gateway is made of red sandstone highlighted with marble and has octagonal kiosks on top. The gateway is an imposing 30 metres high and a fitting entrance to the Taj Mahal. The soaring arch is inscribed with a beautiful design of inlaid flowers and calligraphy.
As you enter the dark octagonal chamber under the gateway, the light streaming in from the opposite doorway draws you towards it. Here, framed by the arch of the doorway, the Taj Mahal reveals itself to the viewer with dramatic power. It stands at the end of a long walkway, framed by landscaped gardens and an ever-changing sky, its snowy marble glittering in the sunlight.
Taj Mahal stands at one side of a garden laid in the tradition charbagh style, with its square lawns bisected by pathways, water channels and rows of fountains. Halfway down the path there is a square pool, its limpid waters reflecting the marble tomb. Unlike other tombs, Taj Mahal stands at one end of the garden instead the centre. This was done deliberately, to leave its vista uncluttered by any other building.
The Main Building
The tomb stands on a marble plinth six-metres high. The four minarets at each corner beautifully frame the tomb. The plinth stands on a high standstone platform and at the far ends of this base are two identical sandstone structures, a mosque to the west and its jawab, or echo, to the east. This was the mehman khana or guesthouse. Thus, the main building is not just of great size but beautifully proportioned and balanced in design.
The octagonal central hall has four smaller octagonal halls round it and is decorated with magnificent inlay and dado panels done in high relief. The bulbous, perfectly-balanced double dome rises to a height of 45 metres and the four chhattris flanking and balancing the high drum give it added height. Taj Mahal rises 75 metres high and is, in fact, taller than the Qutb Minar.
An ornate marble screen, carved so fine that it almost has the texture of lace surrounds the cenotaphs in the central hall. However, as was the tradition during Mughal times, the actual graves lie in an underground crypt directly below the cenotaphs.
Intricacy in design
What is most amazing about the Taj Mahal is the fine detailing. The coloured inlay is never allowed to overwhelm the design, as carvings done in relief sensitively balance it. The ornate pietra dura and relief carvings are of floral, calligraphic and geometric designs. However, flowers remain the main decorative element as the tomb depicts a paradise garden. The skill of the inlay worker is so fine that it is impossible to find the joints, even when as many as 40 tiny pieces of semi-precious stones have been used in the petals of a single flower. Some of the best calligraphy of Koranic verses can be seen around the entrance arches and on the two headstones.
The colours of the Taj
Taj Mahal changes its moods with the seasons and the different times of the day. At dawn, the marble has a delicate bloom in shell pink, by noon it glitters majestically white, turning to a soft pearly grey at dusk. On full-moon away against the star-spangled sky. Monsoon clouds give it a moody blue tint and it appears and disappears like a mirage in the drifting mists of winter.
It can be solid and earthbound, fragile and ethereal, white, amber, grey and gold. The many faces of Taj Mahal display the seductive power of architecture at its best
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