CLASSIC DEFINITIONS

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> Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
> fool at the other.
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> 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
> are more popular than a five day test.
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> 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
> degree and a woman gains her master
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> 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
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> 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
> lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
> minds of either".
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> 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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> 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
> everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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> 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
> defeated by feminine water-power ...
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> 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
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> 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
> everybody disagrees later on.
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> 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
> you have never felt before.
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> 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
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> 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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> 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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> 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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> 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
> actually do.
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> 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
> decide that nothing can be done together.
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> 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
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> 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
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> 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be
> spoken of when dead.
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> 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
> you actually look forward to the trip.
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> 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
> falls into a river.
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> 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
> midway "See I am not injured yet."
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> 24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
> Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
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> 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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> 26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
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> 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
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> 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
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> 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
> Confidence after.
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> 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
> his bills.
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> 31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...
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